First, I can no longer pronounce Pinterest properly in my head, as I can only hear my mother saying”Pin-nin-terest.” It’s quite the affliction.
Anyway, I’ve shared my frenemy relationship with this soul-sucking black hole of a website where twee goes to die. Alas, I keep going back to it. Pinterest and I never stay broken up. I was terribly afraid I was alone in my love/hate relationship with this instrument of the devil, when I discovered Sonja Foust’s blog: Pintester. What is this stroke of genius, you ask? Well, in the name of research, Sonja tests pins so we don’t have to. She has wrapped her body in saran wrap after coating it with a questionable mixture of old body creams, made satanic deviled eggs, nearly set her hand on fire, created baked goods that would probably bounce, and much more. As an added bonus, she has a delightfully dirty sense of humor while she does it (if you have a “delicate constitution” when it comes to profanity and filthy jokes, this isn’t the blog for you). It’s a winning combination.
So, when Sonja put out the call to ask us “Pintestes” (there’s that dirty thing) to join her in the Pintester movement, I signed up and prepared to fail quite hilariously, vowing to pick the weirdest pin I could find. I then amended it to “the weirdest pin I could find that wouldn’t give me nightmares,” probably because of visual dalliances with things likes this :
I would like to take this opportunity to go on record as saying that if I EVER start to dress, accessorize, or otherwise “jazz up” my cleaning supplies (this includes glitter in the windex), please send help. Moving on. Very nearly frightened out of doing this project, I decided to take a break and feasted my eyes on this little rock.
Bolstered by this showing of good taste, I forged on, turning my attention to fashion DIY.
I quickly veered back to the Craft/DIY section, where I happened upon what appeared to be a pretty promising project. Until I realized I would have to paint hundreds of plastic spoons by hand.
I made one more tentative fray outside of the Craft/DIY section, where a recipe for vegan deviled eggs caught my attention, but I was deterred by the thought that if they really were as “true to the real thing” as possible, that sulfur smell had to come from SOMEWHERE. About to give up, I decided to give the Crafts/DIY section one more shot and lo and behold! Buried in a quite religious-leaning post, complete with fanciful prose was a project that I could do, would LIKE to do, and wouldn’t require a trip to a hardware store, the art store, or result in a trip to the emergency room. I gathered my supplies, and prepared to complete my pintest.
You’ll see that I declined to use bible pages and hymnals (I really have no idea, but is cutting up the bible kind of like cutting up the flag?), choosing instead to use some colorful papers I had lying around. My supplies:
The first instruction I ignored? Rather than use the template, I eyeballed the feather and metal rod cutting because I am a complete rebel. Basically, I cut some wonky looking surfboard shapes with the paper back-to-back and glued the rods in between so the patterned paper showed on both sides.
Then, it was time to move to cover the ends, a task that inspired a bit of profanity. The finished product? Absolutely terrible.
This wasn’t the last mistake I made, either. There was an unfortunate slip of the scissors, which, thank the Pinterest gods, I was able to fix.
Despite these two earth shattering obstacles, I bravely forged on after peeling the layers of glue from my cuticles. I made the cuts, and used my fingers to shape the feathers ever so slightly. I suppose I ended up with a decent product. Here’s a side by side comparison:
Here they are in an appropriately twee setting.
So, my first Pintest was a success. I’m sure this is because I didn’t smear weird things on my face, use an iron for a purpose other than to iron clothing or linens, combine brownies, cookies, pie and bourbon into a brookpiebon or something along those lines, or attempt to make a smart car out of lincoln logs. Keeping it simple is sometimes the best way to go.